EXITING THE HOSPITAL

` The second time everything was different whereas I felt like a girl gone off to college filling her dorm room to making it her own, this time I felt like a prisoner and wanted to leave as soon as I could swallow two liters of fluid. Once the doctor gave me the nod for Thursday, I made it my life’s work to drink…and throw up and drink some more. I pleaded with my sisters to take all of my things home so there would be no doubt that I’d be leaving. I slept in my clothes all quite immature for a woman of 55,but I felt as if I had some control of myself.
When I woke I found that I had soiled my pants and I washed my jeans in the sink. The doctors made rounds and agreed that I could go home. More than anything I wanted to simply walk out the door on my own and take a cab to my apt. Lewis agreed to pick me up and when he arrived, the waiting game began. My drugs hadn’t arrived from the pharmacy. The nurses were busy, understaffed. Patients trying to escape were supposed to have patience. I was crazed.
The nurse who was caring for me found some scrubs for me to wear home and she suggested that I not put them on until I was ready to walk out the door-good advice indeed.
I asked Lewis to check in with the pharmacy to see just where the drugs were and to get the car-more need for control. He called me from the pharmacy-a little espionage-the drugs had been sent up to the 8th floor. An escort had taken them up over a half an hour ago. When I called for my nurse, she didn’t come in. Meagan, a nurse who had taken care of me during my last transplant, came in and told me she would help me with my discharge. She chatted with me about my sisters and my children and reviewed my home care. Lewis was waiting for me in the underground parking lot. The nurse’s aid that would be taking me down told me that I could only go to the front entrance. It was not policy! I dialed my cell phone sure that Lewis wouldn’t have any service underground. Fortunately he picked up and patiently did what I asked. I’m sure he thought I was nuts as I entered his car in my newly acquired oversized scrubs. Within moments, I needed the bathroom-my bowels were ready to explode! Lewis had left his wallet home something that was totally out of character and said there was no way he was speeding and I could just jump out at the next fast food restaurant. It was clear he had had enough of this.